by Pieter J. Friedrich
Once smart but now addicted;
In years gone was a puppet,
Dancing in strings of innocent stupidity.
Had a fragile glass heart,
It has broken;
Mishandled, clumsy calloused hands had stroked it
my own.
Dabbling in forbidden realms,
Places known as "sin."
Things of the dark psychological,
Once the fringe, become my self;
My impurity is my personality.
Wings torn in encounters with strange things
in early childhood,
Smashed.
I'm cracked,
Broken on the ground...can I be put back together again?
If only life were a fairy-tale, a Mother Goose rhyme.
What is real...I want it.
Can I be normal, left alone, untormented,
not demented?
I pray and it doesn't come.
I ask salvation and I'm broken;
I seek forgiveness because I'm no longer human.
Thrown away in everybody's mind.
I'm alive, please let me be alive.
Alive, yes...
Body is alive, but you're a corpse.
They say hope exists,
but they're not me.
Suicide once passed my mind and then I saw God;
He didn't help me, will He condemn me?
I didn't want His help.
God give me strength,
God never gave me strength,
I never wanted strength.
I want it, I was wrong, I didn't do right...
So take it away
Full with guilt
Like living with a snake, with a demon,
With the Devil, Death embodied.
Take it away, I give it up.
I want my God,
Sweet Jesus...be mine.
I want Him, I know I need Him,
and He finally is my own.
Give me what I need,
My strength, my purity, my humanity, my salvation.
